I enter the scene, fold my arms akimbo, release it and clap my hands together like…
“Oriya mi oh” the typical Yoruba saying for “my mother’s head” #Aside, whatever that means in this context.
I was surfing through the net jeje and I saw this post about models needed for a Pepsi advert. It was posted by a lady.
You see I used to be a model, okay..let me say it better, I am a freelance model, off and on. Modeling is not my major career, for me It is a sidekick. Whether anybody likes it or not or see some potential. ( cos this girl here has plenty).
I can be very serious and committed to something like back when I used to go for auditions and walks because I need to deliver but people, hey! it doesn’t mean it is my dream to be a top model. Let me leave that and create space who for those whom modeling is like their life.
You can use my face for adverts on billboards and pay me some bay, but it doesn’t mean I have to be a commercial model.
I know who I am.
Let me sing this song in the bathroom today to remind me of my person, abi?
You must be using my face because I represent something, a great set of potentials and you need me to reflect that on your product. Now that’s my kind of modeling as a career.( you see actresses doing what they love and still get to pose for products, they are not models in the real sense. They are models of their substance and talent). Not just that my job is to be a model whose job is to pose.
So the last time I did a modeling job was last year or so. I went through this lady’s post and her pictures, pretty cool…so I inbox her that I was interested. I needed the cash and I needed to explore some fun. I love the camera, it can be pretty exciting.
I guess she went through my photos on Facebook or maybe my Facebook cover and proceeded to add me up on bbm and collect my number.
I gave her my MTN, I didn’t want unnecessary disturbances.
If I give you this line, don’t expect me to receive, I may never pick up because the phone is probably lying down under the couch begging to be picked. After all, MTN is everywhere you go… Smiles.
Fortunately for this lady and her boss friend, I picked the call. She had told me the man from the Pepsi job would call, she also said ” you are very pretty, you could make yourself a name with this” that’s after I sent some pictures.
I picked the call and I heard a grumpy voice. He said I need to help him to, I can’t just get the job. I need to pay some agency fee.
This is where I get to say with my mouth ajar like someone yelping in pain. “I no geti any moni to give you guy” why should a broke ass model person pay for something again. This modeling people are funny a times. I told him ” when I get the job, you can have your cut’ shikena!
He said ” come see me now, today”
“Abi mo ti come ni”
I looked at the time, 2pm. The girl is all spread out on the sofa like “I need my total rest and piece of mind from the four walls of a die hard experience called school” glad to have grad…
This girl is going no where today, let alone go out to see one ugly speaking voice of a man. He was probably sitting large at his office, house seeking whom to devour.
Then he cut, we have finished talking.
The lady pinged me… Why did I tell the boss I couldn’t go?
And am like… Where is that I don’t know smiley?
And she says “just have sex with him and get all the jobs you want”
Eeeeeeh! I had to be calm… Hmmmm
Breathe in and out.
she is advising me to have sex with him.
Sex for million jobs.
And I bluntly refuse.
She deleted me.
And I knew she was crap.
Preying on innocent ladies and turning them into sex tools.
Who knows how much commission she would get from such. And her pictures were cool oh. Very angelic and pretty.
She even called herself God’s own. Maybe that’s how she made her cash. Oshi o daa ni Lee pako!
Riding on men’s balls. Oops! I didn’t say that.
Taa! The devil herself. Angel in disguise.
It’s nice doing business with you. Thank you!
Photo credits: shutterstock, Istock, Canstock, Google and myself.
Girl on the word.