Help! I May Die Of B and F!

Oh my! First of all, in this place, living off this place called Benin city, i  may die of Boredom and Frustration. Sighs.

This is me, forming face.

Oh! You thought I meant Boy- Friend? Nah! Boys, guys that are friends are not the issue, boyfriends ain’t the problem. The problem is that this place can be annoying!

I hate the transportation system here. I don’t know if it is because am broke or something but I really don’t like it. How can I be going to ring road and the conductor or whatever they are called here in Benin, tells me it’s 70 naira? Wasn’t it 60naira the other days? Even 50 before the fuel issue. That’s not even as bad as this.

From ring road back to winners junction where i took 70naira fare, I have to pay a 100 bucks! WTH!
To top it, they don’t call bus stops! Once you get to your bus stop, you have to tell the driver to STOP! Else, you are done for. Can someone tell this people that am new in Benin and I cannot possibly know nor recognise every bus stop, talk less of my own and that am not good with roads?

If they say they are  using Lagos commercial buses tactics for the tfare, I would say “oh I see” but you see… They ain’t! If at all they are…they don’t get it!  You tell me from ring road to Agip is 70naira and then from Agip to winners junction is 30naira.. Why can’t it all just be 70naira. It’s so annoying.

I would have opted for the Oshiomhole bus but mehn! That’s even more annoying. The other day, I watched two buses load right in my presence before I could board. Why? They allow people with the freaking card to enter first regardless of we that had been standing on the line. Even if card owners came to board late and we were about to enter the bus, the bus people would stop us from entering, made sure the card owners entered and then let us in. What’s in the freaking card?! 500 naira worth of cash for bus payment. If I pay my 50naira for the bus fare and a card owner uses his card and 50naira is deducted from it, ladies and gentlemen, readers, spirits or whoever is there …tell me…are we not paying the same damn amount? What kinda system is this. In Lagos, whether you have card or not, everyone is on the same queue and would enter the bus turn by turn.

That’s not all. So I was posted to one dry institute for my Primary Assignment and guess what? I stare at the office ceiling everyday and manage to speak French with Monsieur Louis who is the coordinator for French studies. Then I walk down to the eatery and buy their ‘just there’ food, come back to the office after a thousand “good morning ma or good noon sir’ and a million ‘corper doh! Corper how are you, you doing well? Good noon!” And I sit down and press my phone to death. Once a while…my boss walks in and out, I try stay alert, ” okay ma, this and that ma” but all na lie. For me being unproductive is a disease.
Then I face my fellow corper who is very boring, acting like okro soul wey dey dull and draw and try to pick on her. She would think she said something funny and am like all bony face and she is like am not laughing and I say ” was it funny? I didn’t think it was”

Why is everywhere far from everywhere here? Sapele road is like one week drive, Uselu( my place) takes four days, and ring road is the center of the madness, you cannot get to most places without getting to ring road and that takes like a year, with its rowdiness. In our house hunt, my friends and I went on a Benin city tour and it cost us money. On one ocassion, one of them told the driver

We be corpers, we don spend money finish, dem rob us.
And the driver just stared and let us go.

It’s either we get a good place and it’s expensive or a good place and it is not close to our PPA, eventually we separated after being cramped up in sapele lodge( believe me when I say there is life there, i miss my friends). Every damn thing is expensive and we want to be comfy! We cannot come and die here.
And lord have mercy, i was posted to Oredo local government for my Place of Primary Assignment PPA, ( i swear, i need a Place of Secondary Assignment PSA) and the place happens to be at the end of the local government area and close to another LGA which is Egor, so i work in one LGA and live in another. I moved slept in yesterday, * I tap my forehead* and I could smell B and F close by. If not for the company of my andriod phone for chatting and stuffs, I could have died of this. A corp member in Kaduna who was equally bored said I should watch movies, but after that what next? My flatmates are bored, my room is bored, the environment is boring bored! Even my friends in other houses in Benin are bored and broke as well.

Look at me one more time!

Is something wrong with this place? Can anything be done?

So now, sitting at the office thinking of how to waka. Na waka sure pass but no money. Besides dem say Benin is kinda not so safe so one ought to be careful.I’ll just go back to my place and lie face down.


Someone please tell me something interesting is happening this weekend before I die.


11 thoughts on “Help! I May Die Of B and F!

  1. Bia Eny, you are very funny. You are really in a hell but dear just bear it, its for a while( 1 year). This is what we call ALUTA CONTINUA (that means your suffering continues). Its a price to pay for serving your country. Its an experience to share later or a story to tell your children too. My beloved Eny. I miss you very much. Take care.


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