What If My Name Isn’t It?

morenamesWhat If this wasn’t my name?

The way and manner that he introduces himself amuses me. Picture this.
Hi! My name is Kolade Phillips.

Or this, hello, i am Kolade, Kolade Cole.
This person is my brother and he loves his name so much, especially his surname that it emits pride, a safe kinda pride anyways.

I am his no nonsense, don’t give a damn about freaking name-surname sister and i really do not care even if my name is Majeyeoba, Odilichukwu Or Mackintosh!

Once, i met a namesake whose surname is Coker, it is even interesting that she bears exactly my name and the only difference in her surname and mine is the K and the R. Replace them with just an L and we are good to go.
She told me that because she loved her surname so much, she had tried dating guys with cute surnames, not even the ones you can manoveur like Akintade becomes Akin or Toluwalani to Tolu but cute surnames that goes like Richard, Wellington, Jeffred and more. Later she had to do a reality check, she quit playing on names.


Hello ( in my brother’s voice) My name is Eniola Cole.
Come back again.
Me: “Hello, my name is Eniola.”
“Eniola what?”
“Eniola Cole.”

( For those who do not know me, especially my readers, that’s my full name, just so you wondering what Enny means, there you have it!)

That’s how i introduce myself because I DO NOT WANT TO ANSWER BORING QUESTIONS.

More importantly because i am not a name freak, (forget the ‘you will leave the name thing’ i just do not like the idea of louding it) and people tend to look at me twice whenever i say my surname is Cole. Then they ask me if my great grandfather was a slave ( oh yea! He was a slave and he died fighting for independence, shior….Nah! My great grand is in the grave, all sandy by now and doesn’t even know who i am ).

“Which of the Coles are you and have you met other Coles?”
Type in google, i am sure you would find answers. I do not know half of the Cole family, the ones we formed group for is on Facebook and they have been tracing their origin since 1960.
“Where are you from?”
“Lagos state.”
“Oh yea? Where in Lagos?”
“Lagos island.”
“No, people don’t come from Lagos. It’s every man’s land.”

Excuse me, i really do not care if Lagos state is everybody’s state, if it is, so i cannot come from there? Is it because my village is now a mega city and now you are jealous and just can’t bear the the thought of me bearing such  name and coming from the city huh? Advice: never ever ask me that question, i am not only fed up of it, i am irritated by it. In your next life, pray you come from Lagos state and let your mind dwell on important things than this. It is good i never told you about how i claimed Ogun state in school the fun of it else…

Yes! That settles it. For those who refused to accept my origin and decided to banish me from my own village!

Some people tease me for my name while some are dying to have such a name, so they kill their surnames by shortening it or changing it.

If you kill your surname just to make a brand name or something worthwhile, it’s okay.

If you kill your name and surname when you pen it down on paper for important things such as  business, then it’s not okay.

I never wrote Enny Cole in all my school documents and other stuffs, it is a brand name that stands and functions on its own. Enny Cole is different from Eniola Cole yet the same.


The ones that upset me or let me say sounds funny is when someone sees my name up there glaring at his face and still ask me what my name is because he doesn’t believe in faking surnames on socials. And i am like…hey! That’s my name for real. No joke and he is like wow! “What’s up with you, what’s the wow for?”  I have coped with different mannerisms regarding the mention of my name. Way back in school, my teachers loved it. My french teacher called Eniola in such grand French eloquence that makes you want to be French. My English teacher would write the name like he studied Fine Arts.
Some people think it sounds russian or whatever when they hear Enny Cole. Truth be told, it even sounds amusing to me, i rarely open my mouth and call myself that, instead i’ll just go with Eniola Cole but for my brand. Also, my university friends and classmates seem to love to call me Enny Cole, i got used to being called that there. At first, we had two Eniolas in class and there was need for a differentiation, they indirectly picked the name for me even though i was bearing it on Facebook but wasn’t called that way yet. I had pretty time adjusting to being called that but later… Gbagbe! ( Forget!) It’s household now.

It is not my fault that my name sits right or sounds nice and short like people say. Yes, i like it no doubt but that’s not in my head okay? I will get married someday amd change it, don’t worry, my surname will stay -big smile for ya,  reality check ladies! If you bear Sandra Phillips or Abosede Johnson, Amarachi Jonathan, it would go. Do not get that fine name all up in your head.
So for those of you that Chigozie becomes Gozie or Godwin turns to Goddy( doesn’t even sound right to me) and stays that way in  forever .com hmmm…you are deceiving yourself. Your name is Amarachukwu Ike and it goes Amara Ike, for a brand. That’s perfectly fine.

To those of you who change your surnames because it is dedicated to some gods or its meaning stands for something unpleasant or bad, it’s okay but i hope you got the consent of your ancestors who managed and loved it that way lest they strike you with thunder and fire.

I have met many people with nice and unique names, traditional, English whatever, with such interesting meanings.

Please do not ask me the meaning of Cole.
Recently, i met someone who bears all my names but for the surname which was Johnson, we could have passed for blood sisters. This little disparity in the name didn’t even help matters because a mixed up happened later somewhere, imagine someone else taking credit for you. So much for names.
The names i do not understand that some parents give their children are English words or phrases. I do not get why someone will name a child Endurance-“ biko, what is she enduring?”

And we have more that is now common and acceptable.
Patience! I cannot name my child this. Never. The  child would probably remain overly patient all his/her life.
Goodness. The first time i heard this name, i marveled.. That brings me to,
Marvel, Marvelous. Very funny.
Peace. Oh yea. Accepted.
Peculiar. When i heard my pastor call his child this name, i wanted to cry. It’s okay if God told you to name your child these names. Maybe God mentioned the native meaning and being 21st century, you turned it into English? Just saying.
Wealth. Hahahaahaa
Gladys. I like it but i presume that comes from Gladness or Glad. Ooops.

Please help me name the English phrases of names.
I hope in time, we would start to hear names like
Tantalizer chukwu
And more… Because i do not understand why we would name people phrases or words. What happened to our indigenous names huh? It has such wonderful and rich meanings, USE THEM!

In choosing a brand name, it should come from yourself as a source, your root as a name or a potential image of an aspiration or dream.

So what if your name isn’t what you bear?
What if my name isn’t what it is, what would it be?
Hmmm….Food for thought.


5 thoughts on “What If My Name Isn’t It?

  1. Babe, I feel you body and soul! You speak truth. Very soon, i mean real soon if not now sef, our native names and language will go extinct! This is an eye opener!


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